Happy: A Quest for Life After Death

Monday, October 08, 2007

Watchful Waiting

Mat had expected to start on the miracle (fingers crossed) clinical trial drug last week, but learned on Tuesday that the trial is being postponed by a month. The trial, being conducted by Dr. Matthew Kulke of the Dara-Farber Cancer Institute here in Boston is still wending its way through the approval process.

Dr. Dave (Ryan) assures us that the clinical trial is worth waiting for, so we're now in a period of "watchful waiting." This is the hugely anxiety-provoking state of doing nothing about something that demands attention. That's the waiting part. The watchful part is monitoring Mat to make sure he doesn't start losing weight, becoming unusually fatigued, and having (even more) alarming images show up in his MRIs.

Dr. Dave has persuaded us not to treat our "distress" (a technical term, and no, I'm not kidding) with chemotherapy. Apparently this is a very normal response, and one I can sympathize with.

Mat is on board with the watchful waiting, but I'm not so calm.

Where's my chemo?


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update!
You're in my prayers,

Anonymous said...


Thanks for keeping us up-to-date. I would be very, very bad at watchful waiting. You said it well--how do you watchfully wait on something that demands attention. I've been praying for you and for Mat. Love, Krista