After enduring days of pre-clinical trial insults including poking, scanning, blood-draining, and peeing in cups, Mat's body went on strike. It stormed off to sulk and refused to demonstrate the proper heart and kidney function indicators used to qualify patients for clinical trials.
In other words, it said "Find yourself another guinea pig."
This 11th-hour decision was after repeated assurances that Mat was likely to qualify for the trial, and despite my repeatedly pointing out that the remaining list of treatment options is so short as to be nearly microscopic.
Here, for your viewing pleasure, is the list:
1. Torisel: Kidney cancer drug with nasty side effects
2. Interferon: Nastier side effects than Torisel, and less effective
3. Adriamycin: Nasty old-school chemo drug that won Mat a free trip to the ER on the 4th of July two summers ago
4. Bizarre experimental procedure that can only be obtained in Switzerland (having already been tried in the U.S. and abandoned due to inconclusive results)
5. Brain transplant, to whip the heart and kidney function indicators back in shape
Mat has opted for Torisel, the comfy FDA-approved kidney cancer drug that includes rash, fever, weakness, nausea, and anorexia on its lengthy list of side effects. (Yes, you read that last one right.)
Mat was given his first dose via infusion on Monday, and did OK until today when he was hit by the whole truckload of side effects all at once. He was always taught to eat his green beans before dessert, so maybe with those items checked off the list tomorrow will go more smoothly.