Happy: A Quest for Life After Death

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Occasionally Mat would have a good day and say, "I feel great! Today I feel like I don't have cancer."

I was in Topsail Island, North Carolina last week. I think about Mat all the time, but I thought about him even more there. From our home base in Washington, D.C., we regularly went to the Outer Banks of North Carolina with groups of friends while we were dating. During one trip, we paddled out into the ocean on a sea kayak early one morning and suddenly found ourselves surrounded by dolphins. The thrill of that moment is forever imprinted in my memory. (It ranks close behind the thrill of my first kiss with Mat, which also happened in North Carolina.)

As I swam in the ocean last week and waited for the perfect wave, I thought, "I feel great. Today I feel like I don't have cancer."

I have never had cancer. But Mat has, and he savored each day when he felt well. There in the water, I decided it's never too early to start savoring.

Today, I feel like I don't have cancer.