Happy: A Quest for Life After Death

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Today

Occasionally Mat would have a good day and say, "I feel great! Today I feel like I don't have cancer."

I was in Topsail Island, North Carolina last week. I think about Mat all the time, but I thought about him even more there. From our home base in Washington, D.C., we regularly went to the Outer Banks of North Carolina with groups of friends while we were dating. During one trip, we paddled out into the ocean on a sea kayak early one morning and suddenly found ourselves surrounded by dolphins. The thrill of that moment is forever imprinted in my memory. (It ranks close behind the thrill of my first kiss with Mat, which also happened in North Carolina.)

As I swam in the ocean last week and waited for the perfect wave, I thought, "I feel great. Today I feel like I don't have cancer."

I have never had cancer. But Mat has, and he savored each day when he felt well. There in the water, I decided it's never too early to start savoring.

Today, I feel like I don't have cancer.

10 comments:

Jenn Jenson said...

Nice to hear. I hope that as time passes, more and more of your days are "cancer free."

Sending my best.

EmilyCC said...

Beautiul post, my friend.

Jennifer said...

I know what you mean. Those are the days I look forward to. : )

Emily said...

well put.

One Woman's Thoughts said...

A lovely post today.

May you have many wonderful "todays" in your life.

WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

A fantastic way to remember.

The Proud Llama said...

The ocean is vey healing. Swim, sister, swim! :)

lifeinredshoes said...

Here's to many more cancer free days :)

SLP said...

Powerful post...
Missing you dearly,
S

Team Henderson said...

I just found your blog while randomly clicking around the internet.

This post brought me to tears. Well, not just tears, but it brought about full-on, uncontrollable sobbing.

My life has been sort of shitty these last few years. And I have allowed myself to wallow in it. Then I read a few of your posts and realize that it could be SO much worse.

Thank you for this post, and for helping a stranger GET A GRIP.